Short jokes

What time is it when dogs get hurt?

Time to take your dog to the vet!

Big Dolly Parton hair, like an 80s prom queen!

I like fire trucks and monster trucks.

These jokes are all crap.

Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!

Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.

What did my dad say before he went to go get milk?

"There's money in my wallet for pizza. I love you."

OMG guys, I finally did it. I made a head slicey boy. I have headless.

Nothing bad ever happens to the Kennedys! Except that one headshot, but we don’t talk about that.

I turned the light on, and my dad said turn it off, so I unplugged his life support.

I was going to think of a good amputee joke...

But I’m stumped.

I had to run out of the library because I put the cookbooks in the women's sports section.

Said the man angered to his wife:

"Now stop the damn suicide tries! Just look at the gas bill!?"

What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.

Politics.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Your dad.

But my dad's dead.

I know, just reminding you!

Do you know the best thing about killing a hooker?

Not only do you get your money back, but the second hour is free.

Time to play guitar!

*absolutely shreds*

Dying mall be like...

"Toys" were us.

Goodbye, kitty.

Dying Canes.

Why did Kamala Harris visit the library?

To check out some “law” books and maybe return a few skeletons.