Short jokes
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.
How is your cereal? Oh, wait.
I need a new butt. This one has a hole in it.
What is the perfect job for a pedophile?
A physical doctor for kids.
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Why does an orphan play mum and dad?
'Cause they need self-love.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
I would tell a joke about Kobe, but it wouldn’t really land well.
Yo momma's so skinny that even Flat Stanley gets jealous!
I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...