Short jokes
Did you hear how Stephen Hawking died?
There was a mix up, and he was dropped at PC World instead of A&E!
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
If Stephen Hawking got into a fight, he could not stand up for himself.
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.
What’s the relationship between a pedophile and a light bulb? They're both meant for dark rooms.
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
Corona be like:
Eliminating half the population of boomers faster than Thanos.
*snap*
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans.
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
Why did Steven Hawking go to hell?
Because there is a stairway to heaven.
There are more genders than there are cars in a Walmart parking lot.
Stephen Hawking has enough money to stand up, but can’t grab the money.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.