Short jokes
So a blond and a brunette jumped out of a plane. Who hit the ground first?
The blond because she had to ask for directions.
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
...
...
Their knees.
*Ba dum tss*
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy 🍬.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.