Short jokes
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Goats are like mushrooms.
If you shoot a cat, I'm scared of toasters.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One screams when I peel its skin off.
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
What was the last thing on the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
...
...
Their knees.
*Ba dum tss*
Why am I gay?
Because I like mushrooms.
Do you wanna hear a Gay Joke...
Butt fuck it.
You're so fat that you have to live on Pluto so you don't destroy any of the planets.
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
What’s pink, nine inches, and makes my wife cry when I shove it down her throat?
Her Miscarriage.
What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?
A dumpling.
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.