Short jokes

Lung story short... ahqhahahah!

What is a vampire's favorite animal? A giraffe.

What is a vampire's favorite fruit? Neck-tarines.

Those two jokes are not funny at all!

What is the richest nut ever? A cash-ooo!

What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?

Stephen Hawking.

Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!

Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?

She got tired of jumping over the moon.

Dislike this if you think orphans are weird.

Like this if you think orphans are cool!

Why is Black History Month the shortest month of the year?

When your legs forget how to work after leg day, I can't climb the stairs.

Michael Myers right behind me. Runs like I'm a track star!

I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?

Family Dollar store.

There is no god. None, not one.

Why does Trump play Minecraft?

'Cause he can build walls.

Great news for all Star Wars fans who can't wait until the next movie!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoMlJbLJHcg

What do Michael Jackson and an Xbox have in common?

They both get turned on by kids.

What do you call it when tectonic plates start racing?

Continental Drift.

How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.

What's worse than funny condom fails?

Jake Paul.

A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.

What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.

Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?

Because they have no family to share it with.