Short jokes
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Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
What's funnier than 24? 25!
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.