Short jokes
What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!
Anyone wanna chat?
Why does an orphan play mum and dad?
'Cause they need self-love.
I took my brother's vape, and now he is on the ground gasping for air. He acts like he is dying.
I would tell a joke about Kobe, but it wouldn’t really land well.
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
Thumb nails.
What did one mountain climber say to the other mountain climber?
Man, you are really on edge.
Q: Why is the graveyard so noisy? A: Because all the coffin.
If you don't get it, it means because of people coughing.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
What's the difference between my dad cumming and cancer?
Nothing, they both stain.
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada du energy
Hudididada hada dudo
Hudididada hada ah ah ah ah ah BOP
....energy
I had the WORST day ever. My ex was sent to the hospital from a gun, and I got my hunting license removed.
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...
There is only one reason why I find women useful.
That is because they make sandwiches, but that is about it.
"You must be why they invented the word ugly."
Whoever is reading this, I hope you have a good day because I feel bad you're so short.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
9/11 jokes aren’t funny.
They always crash and burn.
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.