Short jokes

Short jokes

Gas

I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.

Baby

What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.

IQ

You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.

Grandpa

I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.

He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.

Kid

I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.

Twin

What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?

Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.

Bike

Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.

Me: Nah, it's just two tired.

Similarity

What's the similarity between a 14-year-old girl and the fetus inside her?

They're both thinking, "Oh fuck, mom is gonna kill me!"

Sodium

I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.

Cat

Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.

Car

What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?

Carlos.