Short jokes
What do you call Trump with no spray tan on his hair?
Your next door grumpy old neighbor.
How do pedophiles get kids to suck their d**k?
They spray paint it like candy đŹ.
What's Asian but has broken up with its girlfriend?
A dumpling.
What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Porsche?
I don't have a Porsche in the garage.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II.
What happened to the eight-year-old boy that needed to go to the bathroom during church?
The priest stopped him on the way there.
Bully: Your mom gay.
Me: There's something on your chin.
Bully: Where?
Me: No, on your fourth one.
When youâre hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
Whatâs the worst thing about having a sister with cancer? You canât pull on her hair.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?
"I'm stronger than you."
What is monkey's favorite position? Donkey Kong.
What did the basketball say to the Frisbee... "No balls."
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.
Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.