Short jokes

Men.

Me after Taco Bell, "I’m about to blow this place up like September 11."

What type of shirt do kangaroos wear? Jumpsuits.

If you don't like racist people, isn't that discrimination?

If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?

Children in the Twin Towers be like: "Look, Mum, it's a plane!"

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

I’m literally scratching my itchy balls right now.

It's a tower.

No, it's a plane.

Me: Nope, it's 9/11.

What does 9 and 36 add up to?

A life in prison.

What does LMAO mean?

Launching missiles at orphanage.

In America, you catch Pikachu. In Soviet Russia, Pikachu catches you.

I'ma tell these to my adopted sister.

I kicked a goose, and I liked it!

I blend children to make a good living.

Women: Can I have your number?

Jesus: No.

Women: Why? Are you scared?

Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.

Why do women have no need for umbrellas? Because it doesn't rain in the kitchen.

I once told a blind orphan, "Hey, look at the bright side!"

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.

Yeah, it was a shih tzu.