Short jokes
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.
How do u catch a tame rabbit?
The tame way.
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.