Short jokes
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
He could feel it in his bones!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
If your parents ever accuse you of lying... Say, "You're the one who told me about Santa Claus!"
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
Hello.
We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.
What grade does Sherlock hit on girls from?
Elementary, my dear Watson!
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.