Short jokes
Ever heard of the band "Nothing but Thieves"?
Yeah, it's called RobberBand.
What has a bottom at the top?
Your legs.
What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.
When a deaf girl master baits, does she use the other hand to moan?
I think we should change Alzheimer’s disease to Joe Biden disease.
Little Johnny goes to his mum and asks, "Mummy, what's rape?"
Little Johnny's mum answers, "The way you got here."
Wanna hear something twisted?
A pretzel.
What do you call a bird orgy?
No bird control.
I have made a new word: Plagiarism.
The Israeli government is the biggest joke of all.
What’s the worst thing about having a daughter with cancer? You can’t pull on her hair.
What gets long when you put it, slides into holes, and likes to squeeze between boobs?
A seatbelt.
What show would have made Michael Jackson a superstar for television? To Catch a Predator, for obvious reasons.
Your mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, you missed two episodes.
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
I don’t know, flags big plus.
I've come to the conclusion that Trump is the fifth Teletubby.
He's fat, orange, and speaks in gibberish all the time.
My mom smashed my Xbox, so I smashed her daughter. 😏
What do Christmas lights and Jeffrey Epstein have in common?
They don’t hang themselves.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
Who lives under the sea?
Malaysia flight 370.