Short jokes
You're so skinny that if I were to put you on a flagpole, you would wave in the wind.
My friend dumped me, so I stole their wheelchair.
Have a guess who came crawling back?
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
Your mom saw Uranus and never was the same in HD. :)
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
Why was the emo mad?
The picture got hung, not her.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
Q: What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
A: The abortion clinic doesn't deliver.
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.