What do you call it when Portericans surround your house?
A spicket fence!
Short Jokes
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
What's the difference between a dick and a cannon?
Your dick shots longer.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
2019, where you can change your gender at a snap of a finger.
You make the juice go through my power brick.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
Why is the sun lit?
Because it has much solar.
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
Hi Andrew, this is Nick.
Levi and Andrew are fat.
Your mom's just like a penny. Practically worthless, and in everyone's pants.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Apparently Steven Hawking was a stand-up kind of guy.
My puns drive people nuts; this is usually when I bolt away.
McDonald's :)
Can you fuck me, please?
