Short jokes
What time is it when it gets dark out?
Bed time.
Why did the dog walk out at night?
To scare his people!
What is a guide dog 🐶 that cannot walk? A useless guide 🐶.
What is a dog that is Christmas?
A Christmas tree dog!
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom jeans!
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
What do you call a gold digger?
A miner.
My friend broke his tie. That's a tie breaker.
What do you get when you cross a chicken and a horse?
An animal abuse warrant.
You wanna know why Stephen Hawking isn't going to heaven?
Because it's a stairway, not a ramp.
Someone eats glue and tells the other, "Sorry, can't stick around!"
I like my women like my family, they’re related.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
Hi everyone, my mom got me an iPad today, and this is really cool. Can someone tell me what decapitation is?
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed!
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
What's funnier than 24? 25!