Short jokes
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side! Haha, so funny...
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Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
Why did the clock out the library?
It tocked too much!
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!