Short jokes
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
How to surprise a blind man: put a plunger in the toilet!
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
Donald Trump didn't even finish the wall. He should have hired Mexicans to do it!
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
Women be like men cause wars, [but] forget men fight those wars while they fake cry.
Women be like men are trash, [but] forgets women raised those men.
I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
I like dildos.