Short jokes
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
Christianity.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!
What did the cell say when it was dividing?
"It's not you, it's me."
Aaron.
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
There was once a dark room with a dark light and a terrible electrician.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.
I was gonna tell a baby joke, but I had to abort.
All of them.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!