Short jokes
The pilot that hit the Pentagon must suck at sex because he missed the hole.
Did you hear about the Chinese student?
Me neither.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
I just wanted to write something random.
And now my wife is dead.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a baseball field?
One has a home.
I got my sister a book and she cried there, but I forgot she was blind.
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
You're so dumb that every time you use the bathroom, you use your shoe to wipe your ass.
What is a nonce's favorite toy...? You.
What do you call a foot that got beaten at everything?
De-feeted (Defeated)
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.
Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?
They can't compete with an invisible force that actually works.
Q: Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake.
Why didn't Neptune marry Saturn?
Because he knew he wasn't hot!
If Tim goes to heaven and Tom goes to hell, where does Tam go?
Up your ass.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
What is the difference between cremation and smoking?
While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.
Did you know nine of ten dentists recommend oral sex?