Short jokes
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
Shitty bichi cup.
My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
Johnny, Johnny?
Yes, Papa?
Sniffing cocaine?
YES SIRRR!
Man, my brother has a tight, buttered butthole. The veins in my cock throb when he comes over!
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
I wish I was at a Western bar; then I would get shot.
What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
A piece of ass that makes your eyes water.
How do you punish a blind kid?
Rearrange the furniture.
Your life, that's all.
What does NASA stand for?
Need a star A.S.A.P.!
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
What do Emos say when they trick-or-treat?
"Boo-hoo!"
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.