Short jokes
The dirtiest football player in my school was the smallest.
He was just trying to find out who was tickling his balls.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
Donald Trump didn't even finish the wall. He should have hired Mexicans to do it!
Why can't orphans breathe? They are drowning in their own tears.
An American walks into an Afghan bar. Joke, Afghanistan doesn't have bars because of the Taliban.
What do you call a Chinese hooker that won't get on her knees?
Cantonese...
Why couldn't the NASA astronaut enter his rocket to leave Earth?
There wasn't enough space to fly it.
When I shit in the toilet, I think that if I shit hard enough, I can see my asshole plug.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
Why can orphans get away with robbing the bank?
Because no one wants him.
Someone asked me what the lines on my wrist were from. I answered, "My cat has OCD."
I put on my hazmat suit, and grabbed my equipment, and said, "My time to shine!"
I used to work for a company called 69. My friend took over my position.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Irritable Bowel Syndrome saved me from depression...
It’s hard to feel empty when you’re so full of shiii fuck ur mom.
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
A Christian, a Jew, and a Catholic walk into a bar. The Christian says, “Where’s Mohammed?”
No joke. I just want to say that my thoughts are with the Ukrainian people, and I wish them the best. Best of luck.