Short jokes
Why do orphans always come back?
Because I love cock.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your dead son.
Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.
My grandma walked up on my doorstep and I grabbed my bible... I thought she was a smurf...
I work on medicine; my job is to smell it to see if it's bad :)
What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.
Why can’t you tell JFK facts about Dallas?
Last time he was there, he got his mind blown.
I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.
Walter, I don't know, man, seems kinda sus.
What's the opposite of an exorcism?
When Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child...
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What did Siri say when Stephen Hawking spoke to him... Sorry, I don't like Microsoft.
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
What did the Pokemon lover say when he got to the shoe store?
I have to Pikashoe.
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!