Short jokes
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"
The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"
I just found out I'm colorblind!
The diagnosis came completely out of the orange!
What comes next in the pattern, ottffs?
S, because it represents numbers going up: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.
How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?
Power off his chair.
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
What's worse than 2 dead babies in a trash bin? Two babies in one trash bin.
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
I'd make a joke about Noble Gases, but I probably wouldn't get much of a reaction.
This is supposed to be worst puns but most of them are not puns.
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
One day, I sit in the lounge on a chair.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.
He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.
Christianity.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.