Short jokes
I got caught fucking a dead body by my family. RIP grandma.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
Why does the emo hate Christmas?
The ornaments get hanged, and they don't.
God made Adam and Eve have sex right out the gate.
Then he made teenagers horny... yet here we are with a so-called "rise in teen pregnancy."
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be water melon.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
What takes 10 seconds to go SLPAT! on the ground?
9/11 victim!
Yo mama so fat they faked COVID-19 just to put a mask on her.
My stepsister is a big titty goth. Should I tap that?
Dear Orphans,
I have a better orphanage for you. It's my basement :)
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Why do orphans want to die?
Because they might see their parents in Heaven.
My sister thinks she's so smart and funny. The only thing that is funny is her face.
Putin be like that boat is now a submarine!
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
Me: Roasts my annoying cousin.
Everyone at the barbecue...
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
Breaking news (2020): Depressed pigeon misses shitting on people.