Short jokes
What do black lesbians say about pussy?
"Smells like chicken, tastes like chicken."
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common?
They both only change their pads after every third period!
Next person that says 67, I am gonna yell "9/11" and sweep their feet.
If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
No one.
No one who?
No one who?
What do you call a cow with horns? A horny cow.
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
How do you know you’re at a gay cookout? They’re putting your sausage between two buns.
I learned how to say "virgin" in German: "Good and tight."
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
It's a life sentence!
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.