Short jokes
Why did the cookie cry?
Because its mom was a wafer too long!
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
If a blind person can’t see, then do they sleep?
They’re the night watchers while people who see sleep.
"Where do young trees go to learn?"
"Elementree school."
When my Uncle Frank died, he wanted his cremations to be buried in his favorite beer mug.
His last wish was to be Frank in Stein.
Why did the man miss the funeral?
He wasn’t a mourning person.
You know you’re not liked when you get handed the camera every time they take a group photo.
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."
Three years ago my doctor told me I was going deaf. I haven't heard from him since.
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
My mom has a toy that I see all the girls and guys seem to play with, and the toy is between my mom's legs.
If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Is BB hungry? No, BB-8.
Nothing is free in this world, including "Free Palestine."
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
Why do all of Oliver Anthony's songs sound like "shit"?
Answer: Because he sucks!
What shoe shop would be a lesbian's best friend, decimen?