Short jokes
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Canada is the Keanu Reeves of countries. Too bad the US is the Kanye West of countries instead of the Dolly Parton of countries.
The best part about Asian jokes is that the only people that can be offended can't see the jokes.
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
Q: What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and a tomato?
A: A tomato isn't a vegetable.
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
What's the difference between my dad and milk? There is no difference; they both left.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
What do you call a wizard who can't secure a girl? Fumbledore.
If Donald Trump gets any worse, they'll have to replace Air Force One with a short bus.
Why did the rapper bring a broom on stage?
To sweep the competition!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?
Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.
Yo, stop making 9/11 jokes. My grandpa was a pilot.
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
I wanted to make a joke about dandruff.
People are still scratching their heads over it.