Short jokes
Your mom is so fat, she wakes up on both sides of the bed.
Wow, these cow jokes are moo-amazing!
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have nobody to call "daddy."
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
Why did a girl like bananas?
Because one day she might need to be ready.
Mom died, so I planted mums and forget-me-nots all over her grave site.
If the captain of the Titanic was dumb, he would eat the iceberg.
I really wasn't planning on going for a run today, but damn, those cops came out of nowhere!
Friend: Slavery isn't good.
Other friend: Yeah, it's terrible.
Me: Shut up and get me a juice!
What do you call a funny chicken?
A comedi-hen!
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.
Bully: My d*ck is longer than your password.
Me: Sorry mate, it's so short, get a longer one! 🤣
Do you know 6+3?
Other person: Nine.
Nein is no in German.
What is black and white and red all over?
Answer: A newspaper.
That is what my 3-year-old told me.
What did the phone receptionist at the suicide hotline tell the callers?
Hang in there!
Why do we even live? We're just gonna die anyway, so what's the point?
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
What are American schools?
Shooting ranges.
What do Nelson Mandela and Paul Walker have in common?
They both died at 95.