Short jokes
What do you call a blonde girl standing on her hands?
A brunette with bad breath.
Your hairline is so far back, even the Flintstones knew of it.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
Hi. Hhhh yrddd.
Why can't there be a gay disabled person?
Because a fruit can't be the same as a vegetable.
What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?
"Probably the dishes."
Why don't amputees ever get cold? They're always wearing their stump warmers.
Why don’t midgets wear tampons?
Because they’ll trip over the string.
What do you call a romance movie for Down syndrome people? Chromeo and Juliet.
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.
Do you think we should ask the orphan's parents' permission?
Wait... nevermind.
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.