Short jokes
Why I can’t be skinny? I hurt myself for fatting. - Jenny
Hello please I want gain wait. - Jenny year later.
What’s a rapper’s favorite EXERCISE?
Flexin’.
What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
Where do babies get baptized?
So the priest can wash their sex toys.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?
Orthopediphilia.
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?
They have a dot in the middle of the head.
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
What’s the LGBTQ national anthem?
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Harold Arlen.
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
How do you know you’re at a gay church?
Half the congregation is kneeling.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.
Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
Voting is like doing a group project in school.
I did my part, but I’m worried the rest of you are going to fuck this up.