What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trashcans.
Short Jokes
I like this Russian girl, but she hasn't asked me to hang off a cliff while drinking vodka.
What do you call a wife who knows where her husband is at all times?
A widow.
Who's never the last man standing?
Stephen Hawking.
What did the rape victim give to her rapist?
Head.
What did Jim say to Jeff?
"I killed your ham."
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.
Q: What do you call a sad soda?
A: Soda-pressing.
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.
How do you know if an Asian has been in your house?
Your dog's gone.
Your finances are done.
And your floaties.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
What if some kid was like, "I'm going to shoot up the school!", and then someone just pulls up with a reverse card?
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
In Soviet Russia,
You love Chinese and hate Chinese.
What did the kid say to the toilet?
"Did you order a number two because I got one ready for you?"
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Two pedophiles are on a beach.
One says to the other, "Move over, you're in my sun!"
Have you heard the joke about the sheep, drum, and snake?
"Baa" "dumm" "tsss"
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
