Short jokes
What did the math acorn say when it grew up?
"Gee-I'm-a-tree."
Samuel liked Batman when he was a kid.
He still is a kid.
Your mama is so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl!
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
Three conspiracy theories walked into a bar, now tell me that's not a coincidence!
What can a mouse do?
He clicks.
A shoplifter tried to rob a grocery store.
He was asked to give an "eggsplanation."
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits.
How did Steven Hawking die?
He forgot his log on password.
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
Q: What's the difference between a smart Russian and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.
Q: Why is marriage not a word?
It's a life sentence!
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
What do you get when you cross a Chinese and an Indian man?
A car thief who can't drive.
What Disney movie does the church make little girls watch?
Snow White and the Seven Deadly Sins.
Do you know the F in "orphan" stands for family?
There is no F in "orphan".
Exactly.
What do you call an emo kid at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start.