What do pigs and ink have in common?
They both go in a pen.
Short Jokes
I was gonna tell you a sodium joke, but Na, only I thought it was so dium funny.
Why did the duck get arrested? For selling quack.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
Why did the pedo cross the road?
To get to the pre-school on the other side.
Rules of dark humor.
1. Everything shall be touched.
2. If it offends someone, it shall not be touched.
What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?
Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.
Friend: My bike doesn't have a kick stand, so it can't stand up.
Me: Nah, it's just two tired.
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
I will call my kid Monday, because whenever I see him, I feel disappointment.
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
We don't have school shooters; we have special ed breeches.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
What do cows listen to?
Moo-sic.
Why did Obama marry Michelle?
Because he's into chicks with dicks.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Aaron.
Mom: See that guy over there with no hands, tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly!
