Short jokes
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
Why can't an orphan get caught on the hub? They have no parents to catch them.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
I had sex with twins. Well, I think it was twins. All my rage victims look alike.
It would have been better if Martin Luther King didn’t have a dream.
You know, for his sake.
My favorite bartender serves drinks so strong, he gives a "get well soon" card with each one of them!
Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?
Because it always cheated.
Have you ever heard of a dream that that that that the universe was a fake machine?
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?
Divorced.