Short jokes
Yesterday I was in a wind storm.
Today my ears hurt. I guess the wind was ear-itating.
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!
I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.
You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.
Adam and Eve had 3 male children, the only children on Earth. How did they reproduce?
When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.
GOOD MORNING USA!!!! I GOT A FEELING THAT IVE SEEN A FUCKIN NlGGER TODAY!!!
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
You know you have twisted humor when you crack a smile when a Minecraft farmer says he separates the white sheep from the colored ones.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
I want to di... dive! Yeah!