Short jokes
What do you call an artist with a brown finger?
Picasshole.
JFK and Abe Lincoln were some of the most open-minded presidents ever.
What do you call a funny rapper?
A PUN-ISHER!
Why did the Jew get an electric car?
Because he was afraid of the gas.
"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."
Why can't fat kids change a tire?
They would eat the donut.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
What's the difference between Taco Bell and KFC?
KFC doesn't have Border Patrol agents surrounding all of its buildings right now.
Why do the Twin Towers have Elton John?
Because Elton "IS STILL STANDING".
What did the blind kid say after receiving a cheese grater for Christmas?
"This is the most violent book I’ve ever read."
They say Trump got impeached, but he is an orange.
Are people too thick to realize the difference between a fruit, a vegetable, and a person?
I saw two guys wearing matching clothing, and I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
I don’t know if Jesus was black or white, but I know he for sure wasn’t Asian because people wouldn’t ask him to take the wheel.
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
This place is gonna boom in a few days, just like the towers.
I'd tell a bad baby joke, but I decided to abort.
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
The general proofreading Hitler's speeches was the original Grammar Nazi.
If Joe Biden was on stage and he heard gunshots, he probably would’ve thought it was the ice cream truck.