Short jokes
When the school shooter gives the autistic kid a glock and he shoots himself, thinking it’s a cigarette.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What does FNAF stand for? Five Nasty Ass Fools.
Today sucked. My friend fell off a cliff, and I went to jail.
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
Q: Why did the cow touch an electric fence?
A: Because it wanted to get electrocowted! 🐄
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
You and me went up to stab your father. He was out, do not pout. They are coming after.
What did the cell phone say to his wife?
"I will give you a ring."
You're a joke!
I remember having a crush on my math teacher, so I winked at her and said, "Don't worry, babe, I'll call you later."
Why do oranges wear sunscreen? So they don't peel.
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
He: "Do you know you have a space in your uterus?"
She: "How can I resolve this?"
He: "Get a Cancer!"
Gays are always welcome on my Redneck Party Bus. NOT!
When you can’t have Chinese food because you don’t have any pets,
just eat African food, you have plenty of neighbors!
Very sad today. Found my pet mouse "Elvis" dead this morning. He was caught in a trap.
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.