Short jokes
What do you call a waterfowl looking at you from around a corner?
A Peking duck.
I'm in a wheelchair, right, so I've tried everything but one stand up.
It didn't work.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
What kind of car does Pikachu drive?
A Volts-wagon.
Bro, whenever I look at you, Fortnite gets popular again.
What is the best way to keep dogs out of the street?
Put them in a barking lot!
Why couldn't the GREAT WHITE beat the HAMMERHEAD?
because the GREAT WHITE kept getting BONKED on the HEAD by the HAMMERHEAD!
Just chatting, Tim! 🌷🌷🌷🌷
You know that you f**k better than dad?
I know, mom says that too. (Typical Alabama Family)
I read to deaf kids in my spare time.
What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.