If you scanned my thigh, it would show up as a package of Oreos on the screen.
Short Jokes
I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.
What do you call 2 nuns and a prostitute that play football?
Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Your hairline be going up and down like a Formula 1 car!
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.
Sayori: *dies*
Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"
MC: "😨"
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.
Imagine a dragon 🤔.
Imagine me dragging these nuts across your face.
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
Why do orphans hate hide and seek?
Their parents went to play hide and seek years ago.
What's a rapper's favorite drink?
RHYME-A-RITA
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the show?
Because he wanted to drop some FLY VERSES!
My girlfriend used to give the best blowjobs, then she grew teeth.
I like my wine like my women:
16 and in my basement.
My phone is just like the Twin Towers; they got put in airplane mode.
Why do women get periods?
Just cancel the subscription.
Don't you feel an empty feeling...
IN YOUR SKULL!
