Short jokes
A man went into a library to get a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "No, you won't bring it back."
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
Why is Delta jealous?
Because Omicron took the final kill.
Big mummy milkers...
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
Yo mama so fat she makes the sun look like a dwarf star!
What do you call an elite bungee jumper? An emo kid.
What do you call a legless table? Nothing.
Me. I am the joke.
I went into the supermarket; everything was half off. Of course, I took the bottom half of Spider-Man.
My girlfriend dumped me, so I stole her wheelchair and guess who came crawling back!
I like sucking the Twin Towers off, but then I forgot dad already finished the job.
What's the difference between an orphan and a dew?
One goes up and one goes down.
What appears over Ash’s head when he gets an idea?
A LightBulbasaur.
Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”