Short jokes
I bet you go grocery shopping at the Twinkie Factory.
What does Kylie Jenner feed her baby? Plastic MILK! LOL
Three gay guys walk into a bar.
There is only one stool left, what do they do?
They flip the stool over.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
What is the best way to catch a baby from falling off the roof?
With a pitchfork.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
Man says, "What's Ligma?"
Woman says, "Ligma balls!"
Baby says nothing, she transgender.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
How to stop bullying?
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
Me: (Tim) What's wrong?
Him: Wha...
Me: Are you inTIMidated?
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Discord.
Discord who?
I need discord to plug in the phone.