Short jokes
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
What's wrong with 89?
You blow me and I owe you one.
Why did they make bus stops? So the bus driver would know where to pick the orphan up.
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
You know this joke really cracks up my bones!
What does 1nan + 1nan = 2 smelly fucking dusty dumb fuck nans?
What do you call a cow that doesn't stop shaking?
A milkshake.
Me: I'm sorry, Aaron.
Aaron: Why?
Me: Your parents couldn't be bothered to look past page one in the big book of baby names.
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..."
Sardar ji says: "Accha, India me to shaadi.....Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
Have you heard about the blind man who saw the accident and the dead man who heard it?
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
Where did Sally go after the gunshot?
6 feet under.
*That is how deep they put the coffin...*