Eyeball Assault

OK, listen up, buttercup. So, this Alyssa gal is watchin' the boob tube, right? And BAM! She gets a surprise visit from either the remote or some metal tongs to the eyeball. Like, who needs 3D when you got everyday household objects flyin' at your face? It's like she's starring in her own personal blooper reel. Are you even paying attention? You look like you just discovered that water is wet.