Short jokes
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
The picture gets hung with one nail, not two.
Your hairline is so [bad] Will Smith can't slap it back in place.
Your mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family.
Why do Jedis stay single?
Because they use "divorce" (the Force).
May divorce be with you!
What does an Emo do with his friends?
Literally hanging out.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Why did the emo get put at the back of the line? He cut himself.
"What's the capital of Texas?" said the brown hair.
"T," said the blonde.
Good that you got detention because you said that to me; you should've gone to jail.
9/10/01
Bush: “Ok, I got this. Just act surprised and pretend to be sad and declare war on Afghanistan.”
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
There was a disabled kid at my door. He said, "I'm selling some cookies, want to buy one?" I said, "Well, if you stand up, sure."
What is the American virus? Diabetes.
What language do Gays speak?
HOMOGRAPHY maybe...
I told some orphan that you can see your family, but I meant Spider-Man: Homecoming...
Why'd the emo have no friends?
"Because they like to hang by themself."
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
Three gay men enter a bar in Iran. They don't come out.
Where does a banana learn to split?
At sundae school!