Short jokes
Isn't there a software company named after your dick?
Microsoft?
What is white, then red, and is very fast?
My chainsaw blade.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
What do you call a guy named Kaiden?
I don't know, lol.
Why are orphans so naughty at school? It's not like the teacher is gonna call their parents.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
Why couldn’t the underage orphan get on an adult-only website? Because you need your parents' consent.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"
Bully says, "You are DISGUSTING!!!!!!"
The girl says, "Just like your face."
I would tell you an abortion joke, but it was only temporary.
Roses are red, clovers are green.
I love your legs and what's in between. LOL
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
The plane said to the tower, "You're so cute, I want to come crashing into your arms!"
What do orphans and homework have in common?
Everybody forgets about them.
What's the similarity between an orphan and my dick?
They both will die alone.