Short jokes
Why did the gay man get raped?
He assed for it.
I love teaching students
how to make them harm themselves.
Donald Trump took the bullet better than Joe Biden took the stairs.
Why don’t coffins have Wi-Fi?
Because they don’t want people to be so ‘connected’ while they’re trying to rest in peace.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
What’s the best part about fucking a dead bitch?
You don’t need consent.
Man: How tall is a penguin?
Bartender: About three foot, why?
Man: Oh shit, the Bible-bashing nuns! I fucking hit one!
Poor car.
What's an old Japanese man's last words?
"Hey, that cloud looks like a mushroom, or is it just me?"
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
What was the incontinent farmer's greatest problem? He managed his carrot patch but couldn't control his peas!
Stephen Hawking was an unfaithful man. He had an affair with Alexa.
What do you call an Autistic kid?
A work of Daniel.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in and I'll tell ya.
Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store?
She called for a price check.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.
Why did Gemma fall off her bike?
She got hit by a fridge.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
Where did the one legged lady work?
IHOP
The previous joke was by Sebastian Wittrock, but he put Miguel Roberts as the name.