Short jokes

Your mum stinks of disabled people.

Wanna know why?

I don't know either, you tell me.

Did you know that Jeffrey Dahmer was the first person to try Five Guys?

Did you see the blind guy trip on a can?

He didn't either.

How do you piss off a color blind person?

Give them a Rubik's cube.

I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far, no one has given me a straight answer.

Sayori: *dies*

Monika: "You kinda left her hanging... 😊"

MC: "😨"

I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.

What do you call a man wearing a rug on his head? Matt.

Yo mama's so dumb, she trips over the wireless internet.

Yo mama's so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

"Yo mama so skinny when she swallowed a meatball, everyone thought she was pregnant again."

I asked to switch seats on a plane because I was next to a crying baby.

Evidently that doesn't work if the baby is yours.

It's sad when you sit around waiting for mom to make dinner, and then you realize you are the mom.

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

Nothing is lost until Mom can't find it.

"I told my mom I thought parenting got easier as the kids get older, and she laughed so hard she cried a little."

Kids make a lot of plans for people who can't drive anywhere.

I don't want to sleep like a baby. I want to sleep like my husband.