What were my great grandpa's last words?
"SHIT MG42!!!"
Short Jokes
My dad told me and my sister to stop arguing, so I threw her out the window instead.
Quote of the day:
A bad attitude is like a flat tire. You can't go anywhere until you change it.
Chao!!!
What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"
"I'm the big man, catching the kids in my big van." - Ben 2021
The boy was clapping, then he became clapped.
What's a dead person's favorite sentence?
"I made it."
Why did the baker's hands smell of shit?
He kneaded a turd.
When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."
Roses are red, Obama is well spoken, I'm sorry sir, but the ice cream machine is broken.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
How do you know if a snowman is a girl or a boy?
A: Snowballs.
What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?
What's the difference between Mars and Africa? Mars has water.
What a day yesterday was! I got a promotion, and my sister's killer was hit by a bus. Now I'm in a cast!
Friend: You're adopted.
Orphan: At least I was chosen!
Friend: At least I was kept.
"Balls in Jack, Jack has balls in his mouth."
Why did the orphan try to fly? It was trying to find its parents.
Who were the people that survived 9/11?
The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.
What does a pregnant lady and pigs have in common?
They're both fat.
