Short jokes
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.