Short jokes
Yesterday, a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
Why do mountains get so big?
They have no natural predators.
Billy got a bike and a soccer ball for his birthday from his uncle, but he was very upset. Why? Because he has no legs.
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Two gay lovers find out they are brothers.
Whoever invented school, I hope you burn in hell.
Koalas are awesome!
What is the reason for why women never look to the right?
Because they don't have any rights.
How did Voldemort lose his nose?
From uncontrolled Gold Mining!
When they say beat that pussy, I don’t play so punch it.
Why can't orphans have a funeral? Because their parents won't be there.
There was a man in a wheelchair, and he got knocked out in front of a bus. He had a wheelie good life!
What is Mr. Incredible's biggest fan now called? Down Syndrome :)
I woke up on the floor this morning. I think I woke up on the wrong side though.
When you think your mom's a virgin, then you stumble into the wrong closet.
What do Asians and John Cena have in common? You can't see me!
We should stop taking the piss out of Asian people. I mean, they already have enough on their plates... like cats and dogs.
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
Of course Jesus wasn't a virgin! He obviously liked being nailed!