Short jokes
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
Get a fucking life, you horny bastards!
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?
A mind-blowing bean burrito.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.