Short jokes
My dads just like my eggs... runny. 🤣😭🥺
What’s the difference between being a genius and being an idiot?
Being a genius has its limits.
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they can't call them "daddy."
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
I think my penis has facial recognition.
My wife left me and took the kids.
Did you ever hear the story about the broken pencil?
That's okay. There is really no point to it.
Q: What did the man say after removing another man's hat? A: He was decapitated.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
What does a cat say when it's angry?
- Stop stressing meowt!
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
What did the pond brother say to his lake sister?
"Oasis!" (Oh, hey sis!)
You wonder and you wonder. Grandma said you better go to bed now. Tell your dad and grandpa, and your dad and your mom.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
What did kings say when they were made king?
Allah ail (All hail) [insert name here]!
Sugar Honey Ice Tea.
I FORGOT MY JOKE!
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
What did the cow say when it wanted to go to the movies? -- "Let's go to the moovies!"
Where do you go to get the best fish?
A restaurant on the Titanic.