The 30+ Best Jewelry Jokes

i got them red Gucci bracelets

Ariana Grande had 7 husbands, so she had 7 rings.

Why don't oysters share their pearls?

Because they're shellfish!

Why do Nazis don’t wear necklaces,rings, and bracelets? Because they hate jewelry.

How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears? -- A buccaneer.

A sex addict man meets a rich man around Christmas.

The sex addict asks the rich man, "What are you getting your wife this Christmas?" The rich man replies, "Diamond earrings and a Mercedes." The sex addict asks, "Why are you getting her two gifts?" The rich man says, "Well, if she doesn't like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them."

The sex addict nods. Then the rich man asks him, "So what are you getting your wife this year?" The sex addict thinks about it for a second and replies, "A gold necklace and a dildo."

The rich man asks, "Why those two things?" The sex addict astutely reponds, "This way, if she doesn't like the jewelry she can go f... herself."

what song does Saturn sing ?

'if you like it then you should have put a ring on it '

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door? She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them

Three ladies were on a flight, when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing." The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich, and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great t*ts and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."

What do women put on their ears to look more attractive? -- Their knees.

What makes a raccoon 🦝 very rich?

Its rings!

My lesbian neighbors and my sister gave me a Rolex for my birthday, guess they misunderstood when I said I wanted a watch

My friend and I were at the mall, and decided to try on some necklaces. He said l think you should get the one over there, I do, I look at my friend and he’s wearing one with a little extra length so you can adjust it, I asked him did you just break away from your owner to upgrade to clothes and shoes?

I was at school when i remembered i forgot my necklace then i screamed out, "SHIT I FORGOT GRANDPA."

My Dad pays a lot of attention to our household and has always had a good eye for detail. He was the one that first noticed that my mother and I have the same ring size.