Short jokes
What do a penis and a Rubik’s Cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
Daddy, where's my anus?
My friend: Hey, I got 15 kills!
Me: I got 60 kills!
My friend: I didn't know you played Call of Duty!
Me: What's Call of Duty?
"Hey, today was great!"
"What happened?"
"I ran into my ex today."
"What's so great about that?"
"I was in my car!"
The twin towers were the best soldiers ever. Stand together, fall together!
Lynching is just another word for "hanging around."
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
What did the orphan say to its parents?
"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"
They people: "No."
Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!
You know, they didn't add the word "retard" into the dictionary for nothing.
What do you call it when a caveman does a fart?
A blast from the past!
How to get rid of non-vaccinators: call water a "dehydration vaccine."
Roses are red, violets are blue, don't look in my backyard, or I will come for you.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
How do you see past that forehead?
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
Flex tape can fix a sawed-in-half boat. Then how the f*** can it not fix the Titanic when it broke in half? Tell me!
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”
Friend: Ok?
Me: I'mma hit puberty!
*hits my friend*
Yo mama so stupid,
she thought DUNKIN' DONUTS was a basketball team.