Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.
Short Jokes
Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!
What do you call a black man in the dark?
- Nothing.
What has only one sense of style?
An emo girl.
Mommy, mommy! Are we drug dealers?
Shut up and cut the coke.
Son: Dad, I'm gay.
Dad: I support you.
Son: I like you.
Dad: Get out and into my room!
Do you know Stephen is dead? He doesn't have a stone. Do you know how to find him? A metal detector.
Unbelievable! When I searched “house of spades,” all I saw was a slave home!
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?
Hot wheels.
Why do orphans not like July 24th??
Because it's Parents Day.
Bro, WW2 was just a joke.
You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
My favorite film is The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.
Why did the orphan get sent to the principal's office?
Because he punched dumbos like you people!
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
