Short jokes
A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.
Why was 10 scared?
Because 9/11 came flying in.
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
Donald Trump is, like, really orange.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
Your mom is pregnant and you're the father.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...
My sis a fat cow.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?
*Splash!*