Short jokes
"You gotta bleed before you teeth."
- Santa Claus
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
What did Michael Jackson say?
Nothing, he's dead.
What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
My grandpa died in 9/11. I was told his last words were "Allahu Akbar."
What did the cow say every morning?
Good moorning!
What's even funnier than throwing a baby off a building?
Catching it with a pitchfork.
I adopted a dog. It's gone now.
At least homeless people in China are not starving.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
Why are orphans whores?
Because they want a sugar daddy. 🙃
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for breakfast? His shoulder.
ICE and ISIS have similar first syllables. Coincidence? I think not!
I'd tell a Luigi joke, but it would fall flat faster than the line on his victim's heart monitor.
What's the best name for a prostitute?
SI-MOAN.