My mom bought me a car, and she called me an ungrateful b*tch because I sat in my wheelchair the whole time.
Short Jokes
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
"Fortnite battlepass, I just shit out my ass."
Fortnite, Fortnite, did I mention Fortnite, Fortnite, Fortnite?
You just shot an unarmed man.
Well, he should have armed himself then.
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
I did just see a blind person trying to f*ck a dog.
Two emos are dating, and the most romantic thing they have ever done is slit each other's wrists.
Q: Why did baby shark cross the Pacific Ocean?
A: To find his dad.
This had me wheezing 😂🤣😂🤣
In 1492 Christopher Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
He sat on a rock, tickled his cock, until it turned red, white, and blue!
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
What did the orphan want for Christmas?
Parents.
I always think that percussions are golden, but cheeks are brass.
When we told Twin Towers to put on airplane mode, we didn't mean a real airplane.
Are you a knife?
Because I want to deep throat you.
I can't decide if I like rocking chairs or not.
I keep going back and forth on them.
"Jack Sparrow."
"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow!"
Your hairline is in a different area code.
I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!
Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?
Because he didn’t do his homework.
