Short jokes
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
"SCOOT WANT TAXI!" Ok, maybe I do but can't make it there because yo mama is so fat he can't hear me on the other side.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purr-ple.
What is a rabbit's favorite type of jewelry?
Carats.
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
Why did the frog cross the road?
To show his gang that he had guts.
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!
(Say this out loud and it will make more sense.)
Your mother is so fat that her BMI (Body Mass Index) exceeds 40, therefore classifying her as morbidly obese.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.