Short jokes
"Everyone knows I love kids better than people."
- Joe Biden. (A.K.A. Pedo Peter.)
My name is what orphans can never have.
What's the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
What sank the Titanic?
GODZILLA!
Dude, has anyone made a joke about small foreheads? Oh wait... they would be nonexistent.
Your forehead is like my dad.
Non-existent.
Your hairline is so bad, when you look in the mirror, your hairline looks like an endangered species.
Are you a bullet? Because you go straight through my head.
Yo mama so fat when she laid on a water bed, she laid on the whole Pacific Ocean.
"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.
"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"
What song was played at the flatulent centenarian's birthday? Candle in the Wind!
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
What’s the difference between a loser and a paper?
A girl actually dates the paper.
If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?
Q: If a boat could fly, where would it go?
A: An airport.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.