Short jokes
So, I was in the woods the other day raping this woman when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
I got hit by a bus.
But the bus was my ex.
I got a joke.
Allahu Akbar!
How is Stephen Hawking dead?
His Windows shit down.
Goes to school with blue suppressed pistol. #1 Victory Royale!
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
Cheesiest jokes.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
"SUPPLIES!"
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
Where do you get 30% of your agua? From AGUAfers.
Why was Stephen Hawking so good at FIFA? He had 99 dribble.
What keeps you breathing when you're on Earth?
I don't know. I suffocated at birth.
What’s twelve inches and white?
Nothing.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
Did you hear about the two burglars that stole a calendar?
I hear they got six months each.
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.