Short jokes
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
Long hair Danny, the fanny.
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
Did you hear about the fish and chips? The fish got battered, the chips got salted.
When someone says "Did I ask?" say "Then why did you respond?"
What's a bison's favorite gun?
A PP Bizon.
What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?
"Freak out!"
What's the difference between crazy people and regular people?
We don't live in their heads.
What happens when animals do a squat?
It doesn't become pretty...
What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!
A... B... Sea?
What fruit is square and green? A lemon in disguise.
My friend nearly drowned in her bowl of muesli the other day. She was pulled in by a strong "currant."
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
I see 6 letters in "the past."
I have 2020 vision.
I see 7 letters in "the future," I have 2021 vision.
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"