Short jokes
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
Read my name. 👍🇮🇪
OWWWWWWWWWWW I JUST GOT A CUT ON MY BUTT. Oh wait, that’s always been there.
Your mama so white that her first number was 911.
Why do orphans love McDonald's?
Because the initials are like "mother" and "father."
What do people with cancer always want to watch?
"Finding Chemo."
What do you call an imposter octopus?
Octosus.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
Why is my dad gone?
I don't know.
Life is like a game of chess.
I don’t know how to play chess.
What would a man say to flirt with a woman that has a big butt?
You are so butty-ful!
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
What's the difference between a mole and an eagle?
They both live underground, except for the eagle.
I was speaking to a deaf Asian man. I said, "Hi." He said, "Wha yiu sa?"
Say "lettuce" and spell "cup."
What does grass and Rachel Sutherland’s wrists have in common: nothing, they both get cut.
Where do gorillas get all the "pussy" from? The strip club, which is called "Poker Kong Night."
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
What do you call an orphanage that's not an orphanage?
A homeless shelter.
What does FNAF stand for? Five Nasty Ass Fools.