Short jokes
Uremn es abarancin yngnumma gety asuma qshi tun?
When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
What do a blonde chick and a field of wheat have in common?
They're both bound to get plowed at some point in time.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
Kid: Imagine being an orphan!
Parents: Look who's talking, not you 'cause you ain't got no one to talk to! *vanishes*
Kid: WAIT, WHAT!
Why is a brick always hard? Because he seen the brick that was getting laid right next to him.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
Me and the boys are cool.
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."