Short jokes
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
Your mom is pregnant and you're the father.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.
If you fuck your sister in front of a redneck, are you appropriating their culture?
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
Do you know the shortest joke about Titanic?
*Splash!*
Why is Sally dead? Cause she has no arms.
What does a glass of water ask a pond?
"Water you doing?"
What does the pond answer?
"Pondering life."
What is the best thing about a gipsy on her period?
When you finger her, you get your palm red for free.
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.
How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
Sam Mensah!
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
My sis a fat cow.
So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...