Short jokes
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
I was eating this girl out the other night, and I tasted horse semen, so I said to her, "Oh, that's how you died, grandma!"
What's about 12 inches long, has a purple head, and can make women scream all night?
Cot death.
Porn.
Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?
'Cause they'll eat the bat!
What did Ronnie have at Taco Bell?
A mind-blowing bean burrito.
Does Donald know his wife is Mexican?
What did one casket say to the other casket?
"Is that you coughin'?"
Where did Joe go after getting lost on the mine field?
Everywhere.
Why did everyone run from the Mexican when he went to the snack bar?
He said "¡Hola snack bar!" ¡Hola means hello in Spanish.
People say rape is bad. It is because I don't want STD and HIV.
All I can see when I pass Saturn is Uranus because it's so big.
What are the four letters you don't want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
Some say under his helmet is another smaller helmet, and under that is another helmet, and under that is a poster of Miley Cyrus.
What is an emo's most hated game? Hangman.
Because it's rubbing it in their face that they can't hang themselves.
Bully: You're a loser and fat.
Me: Shut up. The camera thought you were a house.
My mom said you failed school. I said, "Don't be surprised, I'm a retard, Mom."
Why did the chicken cross the towers?
Because he ordered a plane pizza and didn’t get to the other side.