Short jokes
I met a fat chick at the beach.
People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To build some SOLID BARS.
Why did the rapper get kicked out of the grocery store?
He kept dropping the BEETS!
Why did the rapper wear sunglasses to the concert?
Because his lyrics were so fire, he needed protection!
Yo mama is so clumsy, when she had her first kickboxing lesson, she kicked herself in the testicles.
I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."
The Twilight fanbase.
What does Yoda say when he’s at the strip club?
"Dirty bitch, you are."
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
Roses are red, violets are blue; blood's thicker than water, so yeah, I got you.
Ugh, I hate anons, they're so anonnoying.
Who is my favorite underground rapper?
XXX Tentacion
What is the difference between Bill Cosby and a rap artist?
The word "art."
There used to be Wonder Woman.
Now we wonder, what is a woman?
I call my penis the truth because the truth always comes out of children’s mouths.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.