Short jokes
"You is so black your mama fainted."
Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.
"Jiggle balls, jiggle balls, jiggle all the way."
"Dr. Squatch will heal the itch, and know it goes away, hey!"
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
Why did Ronald McDonald go to KFC to destroy them?
What do Philippe Petit and New York citizens have in common?
They both walk(ed) over the Twin Towers.
A: Knock knock.
B: Who's there?
A: Package from Ted Kaczynski.
B: Package from Te-?
A: BOOM!
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
"Slow and steady wins the race."
What is the difference between a cow and a chicken?
It's white and it's brown.
Dad: Boy, come sit in this hole while I brace the ground.
Boy: I don't want to see Grandpa, he scares me!
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.