Short jokes
What do you call it when Panera Bread goes to space?
Good question.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What do you call it when someone lies to Panera Bread?
Panera misled.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
What does broccoli and sex have in common?
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.
Are you bisexual...
Or are you hellosexual?
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
When a "Baby on Board" sticker is a little faded and beat up, you know the kid is at least a year old, and the car is safe to ram.
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
Why did Amy Winehouse snort Splenda?
She thought it was Diet Coke.
When I bring someone breakfast in bed, I want to hear a thank you. And no, “What are you doing in my house?”
Q. What's the difference between pizza and an emo?
A. The pizza doesn't cut itself.
Why did the weatherman’s cheeks turn pink?
He saw the climate change.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
Why did the rapper wear a watch to the studio?
He wanted to make TIMELESS TRACKS.
If a mentally challenged person shows up late,
Is it ok to call him tardy?
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.