Short jokes
What does a pirate say to his girlfriend?
I want your booty!
A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.
The best part about having autism is being able to make jokes about genociding autistic people and no one can say a damn thing.
Why was 10 scared?
Because 9/11 came flying in.
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
My wife was run over.
Why don’t Belgians eat shit sandwiches?
They don’t fancy bread!
You can say what you want about deaf people...
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
Did you know that Helen Keller has a swing in her backyard?
Neither did she.
I have a vest. If I cut off my arms, it's a jacket!
How do you punish Helen Keller? You stick a toilet plunger in the toilet.
Why can't Helen Keller have kids? It went up too far.
I'll never forget my grandma's last words, "What are you doing in here with that hammer?"
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
Donald Trump is, like, really orange.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.