Short jokes
Ice cream is just like I scream.
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
Which legendary Dutch wanderer slept for twenty years, except when he got up to pee?
Rip Van Tinkle.
I have no puns because I don't play soccer.
More jokes.
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
Stormtrooper: What should I do with this guide for my test?
Palpatine: Review it.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, you wouldn't get it.
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
"Bippity Boppity Boop! Bill Cosby's coming for you!"
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
4chan
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
How much does a hipster weigh?
About an Instagram.