Short jokes
I ate a man because he was dead!
My birthday's on September 11th, I'm gonna turn the fuck up and throw a banger! Then rub my tits in birthday cake frosting!!! WOOOOOOOOO!
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said it was chilly outside, she grabbed a bowl.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
Why can lesbians not drive cars?
They always strap the wrong thing on.
Yo mama so fat, she eat 60 Big Macs while singing "Badaaha."
So, Dad is teaching his 8-year-old son about the planets and said, "This is Uranus." Then the 5-year-old son says, "Where is my anus?"
I read a sign. What it meant to say is, "You matter, don't give up." What I read was, "You don't matter, give up."
Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.
There is no "W" in the word "Africa," just like there is no water.
What world record did the people in 9/11 get?
The world record for going down 80 floors in a matter of seconds.
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
If you're ever bored, just bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Cry to their mama and father?
Why are emo kids the best jumpers?
Because they never fall down.
Take a water bottle, shake it, you got piss.
My mate Noha.
Q: Why didn't the Oak tree win the election?
A: He didn't get the votes he was oaking for, because he was not the popular vote.
I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"
Why can't orphans go outside?
Because their parents aren't there to watch them!
My acquaintance, William.