Short jokes
American-accented, British pronunciation, what am I?
Either Canadian or European.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
What is your favorite time of day?
When God said, "Let there be light," He saw your mum and said, "Let there be dark."
What do you call a computer that sings?
A Dell.
Why can't an orphan play basketball?
Because no one will be cheering them on.
Go up to an orphan and say: "Yer ma is deed."
What is Wonder Woman's weakness?
Accountability for her actions.
I wasn't gonna tell another Epstein joke but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.
Error code 404. "Will to live" not found.
Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working.
What do you call a dick with three eyes?
Preston.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.
My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.
I held on to my money stronger than an orphan holds on to a teddy bear on Father's Day.
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
September 11, bring your plane to work day.
What were the clownfish doing behind the coral?
Unspeakable things.
What did Osama have?
Two Boeings and a dream.
Magitat?
Gwen, please just come back. I love you and I miss you so much!