Short jokes

What is the difference between a coconut and your ex?

One is fun to knock down by throwing rocks at, the other one is a coconut.

In Saudi Arabia, our pick up lines are, "Girl, are you a terrorist? Cuz you da bomb."

What's a Mexican's favorite video game?

Borderlands.

I don’t like making jokes about 9/11. My grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew.

What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?

Five Guys.

I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.

What is an Emo’s favourite music element?

Self harmony.

I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"

Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."

What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?

The cancer came back.

Candy is dandy.

But liquor is quicker.

Where do cows get their medicine?

At the farmacy.

Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.

How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.

Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.

What do you call a smart person in America?

A tourist.

Teacher: Your bag is heavy, what's in there?

Weird Kid: Magazines.

When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.

What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.