Short jokes
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is E for Equator.
What is money called in space?
Star bucks.
I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"
What is an Emo’s favourite music element?
Self harmony.
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
it was just a prank bro.
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
Candy is dandy.
But liquor is quicker.
Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.
Whoever kills Hitler goes to heaven. Oh, wait... nevermind...
Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.