Short jokes
I still remember my grandpa's last words: "Turn the lawn mower off!"
What is an Emo’s favourite music element?
Self harmony.
I have a stepladder. My real ladder left for milk and never came back.
A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside.
What is the difference between a kid's dad and his cancer?
The cancer came back.
it was just a prank bro.
What's a Mexican's favorite video game?
Borderlands.
What can you say to make a rape victim feel better?
"It will be over soon."
Candy is dandy.
But liquor is quicker.
I heard an Uber from your eyebrows to your hairline is like $40.
Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.
I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3
Roses are red, I don't know why, Living is hard, I want to die.
How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?
Wave.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
How many black people does it take to start a protest? -1.
Call me Willma, will my balls fit ya mouth?
What do you call a smart person in America?
A tourist.
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
What is the difference between a Catholic priest and acne? -- Acne comes on your face after you turn 13.