Short jokes
I like your cut, G.
*Slaps really hard*
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-
Son: Dad, where are you?
Dad: Getting another one.
Son: Getting what?
Dad: Dad.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
Why couldn't the annoying dog get on Papyrus's nerves?
HE'S A SKELETON. HE DOESN'T HAVE ANY.
Judge to the defendant: "Defendant, do you have a criminal record?"
"No."
"Have you always been honest?"
"No, never been caught!"
"Karma is the guy on the Chiefs, Coming straight home to me."
Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.
I wrote a book called "Endless Love."
It’s about a tennis match between Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.
The show COPS has been dropped from broadcast,
honoring the longstanding tradition of police turning off their cameras.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
How do cats masturbate? They lick they pussy.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
Does a midget count as an orphan?