Short jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Atoms are small, But so are you!
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
Donald Trump is, like, really orange.
What do you call Mexicans running down a hill?
Sandstorm.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
So, apparently, Hitler's dad was quite the abusive fellow, always beating his son.
Guess that's why he's called (Hit)ler.
What is the similarity between Pink Floyd and Donald Trump:
The best thing they did was a wall.
Your mom is pregnant and you're the father.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn’t have any arms.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not Susie.
What's the difference between a surgeon and God?
God knows he's not a surgeon.
How did the priest know the nun was on her period? He tasted blood on the altar boy's cock.
Your hairline [is] so bad, we needed to pull it from another universe.
Cow: *can't be milked for 20 years*
9/11:
Bully: You are ugly.
Me: You are so fat, you are the Call of Duty map.
My sis a fat cow.
What does a cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?
Angel food cake! 🎂🥳
So I was at high school one day in the bathrooms, and I'm circumcised, and the kid next to me wasn't, so he showed me his pp, and he had a foreskin, so I was just playing with it until the teacher walked in, then I got fired...
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.