Short jokes
Why was 2019 afraid of 2020?
Because they had a fight, and 2021.
Ever since we started quarantining, I've only been telling inside jokes.
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What’s the difference between a gun and liberals?
Guns only have one trigger.
What did the man say in the morning after beating up his wife?
"I woke up Chris Breezy."
What comes after 69?
Period.
What do you call an autistic person playing a guitar?
Guarded.
Do you think John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head because his wife said he was close-minded?
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
What type of game is Africa playing at the moment?
The Hunger Games!
Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.
What's the easiest way to make a glow worm happy? Cut off its tail—it'll be delighted!
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
When does a cub become a Boy Scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
I drove my new rainbow-colored car today. For some reason, it wouldn't go straight.
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
Welcome to Dave’s orphanage. You make it, we take it.