Short jokes
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
Hi.
Hi hi hug hi huh hi hi.
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
Why don't chickens and sheep get along?
Because they have beef between them.
I sat down and wrote a joke.
One day I asked my mom where kids came from. She said the man who went to the milk store.
Five years later, he came back and left again.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
I was walking home, then I saw a "Wait" sign. A man came and took me. I'm still waiting for him to ask for a lesson.
A: What's the difference between a toilet and a washing basin?
B: I don't know.
A: Then I guess your house looks beautiful...
B: ...
What's the same about boxes and children?
They're both found in basements.
What is an orphan's favorite toy? A mom and dad action figure.
What do you call a stabbed pig?
Porkchopped.
What is a pig's favorite Food Network channel?
Pork Chopped!
Hah, got 'em (I guess)!
Rocks rock and crack!
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he was part of the Lazy Bones team!
What’s the hardest part about being friends with a turtle?
Getting them to come out of their shell.
I can cry, but I don't have eyes. I can fly, but I don't have wings. Who am I?
A cloud.
You are annoying lolllllllll.
What do you call a banana that peels itself?
Appealing!
Murueurx.