Short jokes
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!
What do you say to someone being cremated? You urned it!
Ever noticed that "lol" looks like a person drowning?
Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police... Who? It's the police, let me in so I can get some donuts!
Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.
Dad: Hey, uh... you're adopted.
Dog: *frown*
How does a train sneeze?
It goes, "A-choo choo!"
We gave Erik ten Hag 7-Up after Liverpool thrashed Man Utd 7-0. He said, "F**k you all!"
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
My grandmother made her passage on a boat. The thing wasn’t the only thing that went down.
You don't have to worry about running while boys are around. Even I can't see anything there.
How did "Bloody Mary" become a thing?
Because her husband beat her bloody when she didn't stay in the kitchen.
Why does the Please Touch Museum sound like "police touch museum?"
Because they gotta watch out for the pedos.
I can't have my Oreos 😭 Why?
My dad still hasn't came back with that God damn milk.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
What is an orphan's favorite game?
Solitaire.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
We should stop being mean to orphans.
We should be cruel instead.
What's common in vampires and American kids?
They both don't get old.