Short jokes
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
Biggest lie ever told: it was the cat.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
If I was a cow and could dance, I'd bust some moooooves while I uddered some lyrics!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Yeah, she called me "Pledge" because I knocked the dust off it.
Knock knock, Who's there? Dad. You came back?
Glip gloop glap.
To spite Santa and Greta Thunberg, I'm burning the coal I got for Christmas.
"Scoop pa tun manaa?"
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
You just made a Mist-ake.
Anyone here a spoon?
How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.
Myself.
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
Your dad must be a mailman.
What was the oak tree's response to the apple tree's joke?
You should leaf it alone!