Short jokes
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.
What kind of streets do ghosts haunt?
Dead ends.
Ok ok ok so 7 ate 9, but why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Any 8 year old: Sus!
Me: Jake, we're at a funeral!
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
I asked an American if their national anthem was "Pumped Up Kicks."
If my son was a real man, I wouldn't have caught him fucking another man.
I fucking love Triple H and Jimmy Wang Yang!
When I aim this trigger, it all goes red.
Do you have a bounty 'cause you got a "M" on your head?
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
What do you call an emo kid playing with fire?
Forgot to clean little piece of dust.
Should cishet people REALLY be watching Ranboo?
What's the difference between me and Elizabeth Afton?
Her dad always comes back.
All Nepali love momos.
"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"
"Give away my Money, No Papa,"
"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."
Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Why does Aaron like men? Because his dad beats him.
Yo yo Zac, have you Amber HEARD about the Johnny Depp case? ARRRRRRRRRRR!
Sans: What am I using?
A trom-bone!