Short jokes
I like my dynamite like I like my woman: hot and ready to explode.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A tromboner.
Why couldn't the carrot go to his friend's house?
Because he was grounded.
Year 10 English.
The doe comes out of the woods, shakes herself, and says,
"I can't believe I did that for 2 bucks!"
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
A man with a drum.
"Well, tell him to beat it!"
Why did Shelley fall off the swing? She had no arms.
What do you call a chair with a hat?
I don't know; the real question is, why was the chair wearing a hat?
Believe in unicorns, and they'll believe in you!
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
/setblock minecraft_morbid_joke
/playsound pained_laugh
Why did the plane crash in the ocean? Because the pilot saw steward Undercut!
Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.
I made sure it didn't outsmart me.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
You are a joke.
Why don't Jedi like their female relatives?
Because they are Sith-ters.
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!