Short jokes
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
AB💿
Innit.
Why should you always be friends with an emo kid?
They always hang around.
Why do orphans go to the market?
To get the milk their parents didn't bring back.
If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?
Why can't an emo person be in charge of sky diving?
He won't deploy the parachute.
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
Your mama so ugly she went by a TV and missed eight episodes.
Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
You learn something new every day.
Like the people in 9/11 are the world's fastest readers; they went through 100s in under a second.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.
Hahaha :)
Q: What do you get when the cow jumped over the barbed wire? A: Udder destruction!
Me: Hey, are your parents here?
Orphan: (crying) STOP CALLING HERE!
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.