Short jokes
Q: What is the opposite of 'Dominos'?
A: Domi doesn't know!
Prankster kid: Knock knock.
Neighbor: Who's there?
...
What do you call a prehistoric crow? Crow-Magnon.
"Scoop pa tun manaa?"
What would the Mandalorian be called if it was made in an aquatic center?
Mandachlorian.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Dating a girl and studying mathematics, both give a headache.
Mom: I'm going to the shop. If someone is at the door, don't open it.
Me: Ok.
*Ring*
Me: Opens the door.
Oh sh*t!
Mom: Gets flip flop.
What's a similarity between Harvey Weinstein's pants and American bombs?
They both drop unannounced and leave mass casualties.
Do you have a halo?
'Cause I can give it to you.
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
I love still things.
Why is daonlyjuanhere an orphan?
Because he is the only one.
For some reason, quarks sound really strange to me.
They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.
What do you call an angry shopper?
A cuss-tomer.
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
Why does Waldo wear stripes?
He doesn't want to be spotted.
So I was visiting my friends Timmy and Tommy at the phone store and I said, "A. T&T!"
Does your cat scratch you?
Yeah, I need [to] give him payback, but now he won't respond.