Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
Short Jokes
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
Kevin Woody (look him up)
If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.
Looks like McSkillet McKilledIt.
Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!
Engineer: I know engineering, and my gut instinct tells me to fix it!
Biologist: I know biology, and your gut instinct is full of shit.
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
Why tie when you can knot?
When I went to see the doctor, he remarked that he hadn't seen me in a while.
I said that I have been ill.
When is a door not a door?
When it’s ajar!
Why are graveyards so popular? Because people are always dying to get into them.
Keep calm and curry on!
What is Bill Gates’ favorite equation?
1 + 1 =
I don’t like stairs. They are always up to something.
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
