Short jokes
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
A man with a drum.
"Well, tell him to beat it!"
Pen15
What did the skeleton play when he joined the band?
A tromBONE.
TDS - Too Damn Slow!
TDS? More like STDs.
Q: How heavy is a photon?
A: It's light!
"Stupid ass baby."
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
"Orla Doyle is fit."
Arms.
Why couldn’t the guy make bubbles?
He couldn’t find the right solution.
Try to make a joke, but not about yourself.
Well, I have nothing.
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. He said, "Get your paws off my toy!"
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
Why did the steward not receive his passport? Because his face was not valid!