Short jokes
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
What did Jessiey do?
Jump and make a explosionnnnnnnn, heyyyy gas!
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
My last best man's speech was like the marriage--short, occasionally funny, and ultimately ruined by the bridesmaid.
Osama Bin Laden was trying to give me relationship advice.
Probably wasn't the best time to say "OK Boomer."
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
Why was the rapper cold in the recording studio?
Because his bars were ice.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I thought Voldemort was ugly, then I saw you.
How do you make a cat say woof? You cover it in petrol and light a match.
What did the llama say when the villagers said that he had to leave the village?
"Alpaca my bags."
What do you call a fat Indian sat on the floor?
A meatball/malteser.
Wanna see my pp again?
For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.
Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!