Short jokes
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candace. Candace who? Candace be true, you don’t remember me?
Why don't gays shop at sports authority?
They prefer Dick's.
Well, I saw a stripper, and she was trying out bread.
Five more days.
What do you call someone who fixes walls?
Juan, probably.
How do cats relieve themselves in front of people? By licking their puss.
The north and south towers got into an argument.
The south tower said, "We will talk about this when we are on the ground."
What's the similarities between anonymous and a cow? I think you know...
How do you get a monkey off the wall?
You jerk him off!
What was the weather forecast when the planes hit the World Trade Center? Partly cloudy with scattered passengers!
If you hit an Indian person on the forehead with a dart, is it considered a bullseye?
Why didn’t the autistic boy like Minecraft?
There was a new texture pack.
What Minecraft mob do autistic people relate to the most?
The Enderman.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
Wa sa Bee.
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
Q. What do you call anal sex with a politician?
A. A backroom deal.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.