Short jokes
My dogs pooped in my shoes? Pooper.
What type of bee can't make up his mind?
A maybe.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?
Cause it was plain.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
What do you call Canadian weed? Canadabis.
What's the food orphans can't eat?
Family-sized ice cream.
How old do you have to be to drink? Any age.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.
Life asked death, "Why do people choose you over me?"
Death replied, "Because you're the beautiful lie, and I'm the painful truth."
"You is so black your mama fainted."
Ahaha, I'm laughing because my friend is so black his mama killed the clown.
How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?
They slash them.
I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
Uremn es abarancin yngnumma gety asuma qshi tun?
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Why did the question come to life? Answer: The adding, subtracting, times, dividing by, and equals signs came to life and squished pages.
I've got an impressive record at Russian roulette. Retired after one loss ever.