Short jokes
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
What can you catch but not throw?
A cold!
What’s a foot on one end, a foot on the other end, and a foot in the middle?
A meter stick.
Why does a robot malfunction when they get sad?
Because they have a break down.
Hi Blake.
What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?
You only see one asshole in 69.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
What do you say to your pony when it's being wild?
Stop horsing around!
What did the bull say when got hit in the special area? "Damn my bulls!" Ahahaha
How do you trap a shape? You use a trapezoid.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
I used to have a phobia of pogo sticks. Those things always made me jump.
What do you call a nervous zucchini?
An edgy veggie.
Would you mind just peeing into this cup, please? It's the one the annoying receptionist uses.
Nope, should've gone to Specsavers.
My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.
Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.
In other news, we are hearing of a nasty helicopter crash on the M4. Let's cross live to our eye-in-the-sky, Mark. Mark?
In 2006 on 6/9, there was something called communication opportunity happened. On 6/9. 69. Coincidence? I think NOT.