Short jokes
Nobody:
Me: "Nobody:" "Me:"
"Stupid ass baby."
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
I searched on Google, "How to start a wildfire?"
I got 39,300,000 matches.
If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
Why did the Texas cow own its own dachshund?
The cowboy told it to "get along little doggie."
I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
Arms.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
Why was the dog so stressed out?
It had a ruff day.
What did the pencil say to the other pencil?
Your looking sharp!
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
"Orla Doyle is fit."
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
Hi, Larry.
Bye, Larry.
Wow, I can't believe you'd take the time to read this!
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
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