Short jokes
Me: You have terrible jokes.
Mum: Shows me a mirror.
I went to the grocery and they said I did something wrong, but I thought they were talking about a food, so I said, "Wrong yummy!"
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
You're so fat that when they tried to print a picture of you through the computer, they couldn't fit you in the whole picture because you were so big!
Your forehead is deeper than the ocean.
Long live the quee—Oh wait...
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? They always eat the bat.
What is the difference between a Libertarian and a dumb polack?
Not much difference.
A dark sense of humor is like a pair of functioning legs. Not everybody has one.
There’s a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.
Bruh, the cops just arrested a black dude...
Well nvm, they shot him dead.
What do you call a person that is both Black and Hispanic and was born on Wednesday? Miérkoolaids.
Why did the orphan girl cry during sex?
Because her boyfriend said "Who's your daddy?"
BAJAHAHAHHAA
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
My friend looks more red than Mr. Krabs.
It’s weird, I could’ve sworn I saw the silhouette of a belt hurling towards him the other day.
Why do women love wind chimes?
They vibrate.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
My ex's dad died while she was texting me. She said she had a boyfriend, but I told her I had a dad.
What's an astronaut's favorite game? Space-ball!
The optimistic midget's coffin was half full.