Short jokes
My grandpa was the best soldier ever. He gunned down over 100 soldiers in his bunker during D-Day.
If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.
Yo, dad is so stupid, he brought the milk after two years, and he said, "Oh, sorry son. I'm going back to the store. Bye."
Yo mama's so fat, Darth Vader wanted her to be the Death Star!
I wish I knew life, but my dad said it was a mistake to begin with.
What do orphans, parents, and Nemo have in common?
Neither can be found.
How often do emos go swimming in a lifetime?
Just once.
I am like mushrooms. Nobody likes me, but everybody tolerates me.
I was on a flight to California, but my next in the Empire State Building.
I forgot what a boomerang was. Oh well, it’ll come back to me.
When you get injured 😢
When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩
Why was an oven so smart?
It had 70 degrees.
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.
What do orphans like to watch? Spider-Man: Homecoming.
When you ask an orphan to come over:
Kid: "Do you want to come over to my house?"
Orphan: "Yeah, sure."
Kid: "Ok, ask your parents—oh wait."
Why do orphans ride the bus? Because they have no parents to drop them off.
I used to be a man in a woman’s body. And then I was born.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
Today I passed the exams to be a funeral director!
Too bad it's a dying trade. :)