You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.
Short Jokes
911 happened a while ago and it's slowly losing its fame.
Time for a remake!
The dear God created the man.
Then he created woman.
When he then saw what he had done, he took care of tobacco and alcohol.
What do you call an Indian that doesn’t smell?
Asif
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
What's the difference between friends and family?
One is actually real.
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.
Why does Adolf hate golf?
He ended up in the bunker.
What’s Hitler’s favorite letter?
Not Z.
I’d make a Kobe joke, it just wouldn’t land right.
Your hair line is curved like a moving train.
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
What do you call a nut that screws and then bolts?
An escapee from a mental hospital.
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.
