Short jokes
What do Drew Bledsoe and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both got taken out by two jets.
What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?
Panera bloodshed.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
Nah, North Korea got inspired by the fatman nuke that he also became a fatman with nukes.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.
What does Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
What do rocks and girls have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What do you call a guy who loves to eat out a hoe's pussy?
Answer: a Carnivwhore.
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!